Child Share Sharing Parents Toy Play Part Teach

Many young children "struggle" (have a hard time doing something) to share their toys with friends. They become very "possessive" (wanting to own something fully, without sharing it with others) of their toys and "throw tantrums" (scream, yell, kick, cry, and lose control) when other people want to touch or play with them. This is a normal part of a child's "development" (the way a child changes as he or she grows older), but American parents tend to want to teach their children to share.

Many Americans believe that getting angry at their children for not sharing doesn't work. So instead of punishing bad behavior, they often try to "praise" (say good things about) "positive" (good) "behavior" (actions; how someone acts). If they see their child share a toy with someone, they might say, "I really like the way you shared your toy with Jaime." And if the child doesn't share the toy, the parent might just use "distraction" (changing the focus of one's attention) "techniques" (ways of doing something) to try to "defuse the situation" (make things calmer and less tense).

Parents of "toddlers" (two- and three-year-old children) sometimes use "baby steps" (in small ways, doing only part of something at once) to try to teach their children how to share. Instead of expecting their child to share a favorite toy doll, they might say, "Could you please show your doll to Meghan?" without expecting the child to let Meghan play with it.

Once children are older, parents expect them to become better at sharing. If an older child "refuses" (will not do something) to share, the parents might punish the child by taking away the thing that the child doesn't want to share for a certain period of time.