I Date Mike Talking Small Good Conversation Feel

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There are several aspects of dating that are important so we will dedicate a couple of lessons on dating. There are two sections of dating. It comprises of the time period of trying to get a date, and then the time during the date. It is also important to point out the differences from the male and female perspectives. In this first lesson on dating, we will cover getting a date from both gender perspectives.

In the United States, both genders can ask each other for a date. Just like in any culture, it isn't normal to ask a complete stranger for a date. Usually, you have to start a conversation and get to know each other a little bit before asking for a date. In the beginning, it's normal to engage in small talk. During small talk, you should then find something that you have in common. The longer you talk, the greater the chance that you will get a date. It is all up to how you feel if you want to ask or not. In this lesson, I will cover some sentences you should know so you can succeed in getting a date.

Before we continue though, I would like to mention that blind dates are not common. For example, in Korea, So-geh-ting is a very popular way to get dates. This is in essence a blind date. It is not so common in the United States, so no need to cover it here.

During the conversation, throwing out compliments is a good thing to do. Most people will be flattered by them. But remember not to make them too cheesy.

Compliments to a guy
Do you work out at all? You have a nice build."
What kind of cologne is that? I like the smell of it."
I like the sound of your voice. It's soothing listening to it."

Compliments to a girl
Your eyes stand out a lot. Do you get many compliments on them?"
Does it take you long to style your hair? It looks very good."
I bet you get hit on a lot."

The term 'hit on' means to be approached by the opposite sex. So somebody who gets hit on a lot means to have many people approaching them.

Compliments to either gender
It's very comfortable talking to you."
I feel like I can be myself when I'm talking to you."
You seem so intelligent. I like that."

As you can see, these types of compliments are not too aggressive. They are implying good things, but are not a burden to hear. For example, imagine you are talking to a stranger. If they say, You're so beautiful." It will more likely scare you away. You will probably think that person is a little crazy. But if someone is talking to you and says a small compliment, then it is very welcomed. So keep that in mind when throwing out compliments.

If the conversation goes well, and you feel that you have a strong connection, feel free to ask for a date. There are a couple of ways to do so. You can either ask for a phone number, or you can ask to go out by meeting somewhere. When you the conversation is about to end, make sure to bring up the subject of a date.

It was so great talking to you. I would love to get together and chat some more. Would you care to have dinner with me sometime?"
If you don't have anything planned for Saturday, I would like to take you to dinner."
We should talk some more later. Can I get your number?"

There are many ways and if you are sincere, then you shouldn't have a problem. If you feel you are not sure, or you are scared, then you can leave your phone number and hope that the other person calls.

I enjoyed talking to you. Let me give you my number. I would love to hear from you."
Give me a call anytime you want to just chat."

Flirting

The previous section was more for people who usually start up a conversation before asking a person on a date. There are other types of meeting people. There is a terminology called flirting that is popular. Flirting basically means to make gestures or movements or comments that are a little sexual in nature. So if you move your body in a certain way, or you rub the other persons arm slightly, or talk about slightly sexual things, then that is considered flirting.

Flirting is all dependent on both sides. It is hard for only one person to do the flirting. If that is the case, then the other person usually finds a quick exit out. Here are some things people might say while flirting.

Hey sexy. I can't believe I didn't notice you earlier"
How come you didn't ask me to dance yet?"
You have nice legs."
I can tell you workout. You have a nice body."
You want to feel my muscles?"

Dating Part - Asking for a Date

In the previous section, we covered talking to someone before getting a date. In the next section we are going to work on some sentences you need to say during the date.

As I said previously, there isn't really another dating language. Most of it is regular conversation such as small talk, movies, hobbies, school, and work topics.

Let's start where we left off. By now, you should have a phone number. It is your responsibility to call and get a date. Even though you got a phone number doesn't guarantee a date. You have to convince the person to actually show up. Here is what you should say.

On the phone

Them: Hello"
You: Hi. Is Janet there?"
Them: This is Janet."
You: Hi Janet. This is Mike. I met you at the party last Saturday night."
Them: Oh. Hi Mike."
You: Did you enjoy the party?"
Them: I had a great time. How about you?"
You: The next morning was tough, but it was real fun, especially meeting you."
Them: It was great meeting you too."
You: Can I take you out to dinner followed by a movie or some other thing?"
Them: Well, I am a little busy with school and all."
You: A couple hours shouldn't hurt too much. I'll make sure you have a good time. If you want, we can talk about your school. Maybe I can help you on some topics you are unsure about."
Them: Ok. Sounds good. I'm free this Friday after 6:00. How does that sound to you?"
You: That sounds good. Do you want to meet somewhere or would you like for me to pick you up?"
Them: If you don't mind Italian, I'll meet you at Olive Garden at 6:30 on Friday."
You: Sounds great. I'll see you then."

Let's analyze this small conversation real quick. First, Mike didn't assume that Janet remembered him. He reminded Janet where and when they met. It isn't a good idea to put someone on the spot right.

Next, Mike asked if Janet had a good time. This is a small talk question to break the ice.

Afterwards, Mike gave a small compliment by saying, '... it was real fun, especially meeting you.'

So Mike is giving an indication that he is interested in Janet.

Next, Mike asks for dinner.

Janet's response is important to learn from. She knows Mike has interest in her, but she is not too sure. When Mike asks for dinner, she is hesitant. We see this when she says, 'I am a little busy with school and all.'

Everyone is busy, and Mike knows that this is an excuse of not going out. There are many things that Mike can do now.

1.   Mike can put pressure on her without any substance like, 'Come on. Let's just go out.' Or he can not even let her completely answer by saying, 'I'll meet you at Olive Garden at 7:00.'
2.   Mike can be a coward and say, 'Ok. Well, if you decide to change your mind, give me a call.'
3.   Or Mike can persuade Janet by appealing to her interests.

The number 1 choice doesn't work because putting pressure on someone is not good. She might not come, or start with a bad impression. Number 2 choice will result in Janet never calling back.

The answer Mike gave is a great answer. He is promising that she will have a good time, and also understanding her school interest and promising to talk about her school.

From Janet's perspective, Mike has good manners not pressuring too much, and understanding her interest by talking about her schooling.