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Terms Sentence Reported Greater Control Favorable Pregnancy Infants

Front why is in terms of a bad sentence smell?

 Mothers who reported greater feelings of control over important aspects of their life evidenced more favorable pregnancy outcomes in terms of their infants weighing more and being born closer to term.
Back the sentence did not give enough information the first time around, and we have therefore resorted to a clunky construction

=>  Mothers who reported greater control over their lives gave birth to larger infants closer to term.

also: . Saying that mothers "evidenced more favorable pregnancy outcomes" is turning a human into a data source.

Tags: writing

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