Don’t feel listen negotiation guidelines direct direct rude

Guidelines for negotiation: Avoid directness to prevent appearing rude, aim for 'no' instead of 'yes' to reduce defensiveness, perform an 'accusation audit' by acknowledging negative perceptions, allow the other party to feel in control, elicit agreement with 'That's right' through summarizing, listen for underlying needs ('levers'), and use 'How am I supposed to do that?' to have the other party solve your problems.

Text	Negotiation guidelines: Don’t be direct: Direct usually comes off as rude, no matter your intentions. Be nice and slow it down. Don’t try to get them to say “yes”: Pushing for a “yes” makes people defensive. Try to get a “no.” Do an “accusation audit”: Acknowledge all the negative things they think about you to defuse them. Let them feel in control: People want autonomy. Ask questions and let them feel like they’re in charge. The two magic words they need to say: Summarize their position to trigger a “That’s right.” Listen for levers: They might only need the orange peel. Listen, listen, listen. Keep asking “How am I supposed to do that?”: Let them solve your problems for you.

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Negotiation guidelines:

Don’t be direct: Direct usually comes off as rude, no matter your intentions. Be nice and slow it down.
Don’t try to get them to say “yes”: Pushing for a “yes” makes people defensive. Try to get a “no.”
Do an “accusation audit”: Acknowledge all the negative things they think about you to defuse them.
Let them feel in control: People want autonomy. Ask questions and let them feel like they’re in charge.
The two magic words they need to say: Summarize their position to trigger a “That’s right.”
Listen for levers: They might only need the orange peel. Listen, listen, listen.
Keep asking “How am I supposed to do that?”: Let them solve your problems for you.

Tags: negotiation

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